Fan Film Follies-Terrible International
BY CHRISTOPHER MOSHIER
There are some really good things the United States is known for,
bombing the Hell out of Third World Countries, rescuing everyone’s preverbial butts (is Al Qaeda helping in the Pakistan
relief effort?), and making awesome movies (OK! And a lot of crap too!). Go Hollywood!!!
There are some really good things Third World Countries are known
for, suppressing their people, strapping explosives to children in the name of Allah, and making really crappy movies. But
what happens when these countries make crappy movies based on comic book properties? Well now that could get funny or make
your head explode.Some may think my following comments are racist in nature. Let me assure you I hate all races and creeds
equally so I am not singling anyone out. That of course was a joke!
ANYWAYS!!! These are more rip-offs of the source material than actual
Fan Films, but I thought it would be fun to share them with you if you weren’t already aware of their existence.
Turkish Star Wars (http://www.bijouflix.com/downloads/TurkSW.mov) if you could have seen my face when I watched the clip provided in
this article it was one of sheer disbelief. The fact this movie was actually released and celebrated was enough to drop my
jaw. This is so bad it is funny. Check out Film Threat for a fantastically funny review of this clunker.
3 Supermen Against Godfather (Click HERE)
Another Turkey from Turkey!If you vomit on a can of suck you could produce
these great offerings.
This isn't just one bad film, but several in a series with such forgettable titles as:3 Supermen
in Tokyo,3 Supermen in the Jungle,3 Supermen and Mad Girl,3 Supermen in the Orient,3 Supermen against the Godfather,3 Supermen
at the Olympic Games, and 3 Supermen in Santo Domingo
Japanese Spiderman (http://incolor.inetnebr.com/stuart/spiderman/) (http://www5c.biglobe.ne.jp/~spa-girl/38885498/) Domo
Arigato, Mr. Roboto!! In all fairness the US butchers the Power Rangers so it is only fair that Japan can butcher Spiderman.The
evil "Iron Cross Army" (Testsu-Jyuuji-Gun) murders Yamashiro, Hiroshi and attempt to kill his son Takuya (Toudou, Shinji).
Takuya's life is saved by Garia, The Spider-Man, an alien who came to Earth in the spacecraft Marveller. Garia injects a liquid
into Takuya which not only heals his wounds but also gives him super strength, the ability to climb walls and a special sense
of danger (ie "Spider-sense") If crap had webbing it could swing between buildings!
Indian Superman (http://www.stomptokyo.com/movies/s/superman-indian.html) In this Indian take on the classic superhero story, a young baby from the doomed planet Krypton
is sent to Earth, where he is adopted by an elderly couple in India who name him Shekhar. After growing to an adult and learning
about his origins and powers, he goes to the city in search of his school sweetheart, Gita, who has become a newspaper reporter.
At the same time, Verma, Shekhar's rival for Gita's affection in their school days, has gone on to become a crime lord and
general super-villain. Verma has hatched at plan to become rich by devastating part of India with natural disasters, then
buying up all of the abandoned land. Will Superman/Shekhar be able to put a stop to Verma's evil plan? Will he win Gita's
heart? Will he keep his double identity a secret? Will I hear Apu from the Simpsons gave this film 10 turbans.
Alyas Batman En Robin (http://www.macmichael.org/ryan/sounds/alyas.mp3) It is a highly rated movie in the Philippines featuring the spoof
of the original Batman and Robin starring funnyman Joey De Leon as Batman and his son Keempee as Robin. Several villains also
are adapted such as Joker and Penguin (spoofly as Chu-pa-eng-gwin) portrayed by the late comedians Rene Requistas and Panchito.There
is a crap theme forming!
Batwoman (La Mujer Murcielag) (http://www.badmovies.org/multimedia/moviesx/wbatwoman1.mpg) " Holy bad cinema Batman, Mexico makes crappy Rip Offs also!"" Don’t
worry old chum. It can’t be any worse than The Master of Disguise.""Gosh! You’re right Batman. What ever happened
to Dana Carvey?" Mexico sure loves their wrestling. A mad scientist wants to create a race of super gill men. He uses the
glands of wrestlers because they are "perfect". Wrestlers are winding up dead all over Acapulco so the call goes out for that
mysterious crime fighter BATWOMAN! If crap had wings this baby would fly!
3 Dev Adam (Captain America and Santo vs.
Spiderman) (http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/3devadam/default.php) This is an "unofficial" Santo film, known outside of Turkey mostly
via poor bootlegged dupes under titles such as "Captain America And Santo Vs. Spiderman." Turkish filmmakers weren’t
very hesitant to "borrow "fictional characters from other countries without bothering to get permission: Superman, Spiderman,
Batman, Tarzan, and Mandrake The Magician all made Turkish film appearances. If crap could run this would be a marathon winner!
Süpermen dönüyor (http://xoomer.virgilio.it/amasoni2002/shl/dc/supermen_donuyor_(1979).htm) The Turkish Superman is even better than
the original. Why? Well, Superman's father is missing a number of teeth. Superman can see through women's dresses, which causes
him to continually pratfall. For shots of Superman flying through the air, the filmmakers simply used a Superman doll and
shot it from far away. To create the illusion of space, we are treated to a dark room filled with Christmas tree ornaments
glued to a cardboard wall covered with glitter. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s crap!
I could keep going all day, but it is just
too painful. If you want to learn more about these films from the planet crap I’ll shoot you couple
links. If you are interested in these films and want to add them to your collection check out Super Strange Video. They have a great collection of these terrible gems for sale online. If you want to learn more about these types of international
films and Fan Films in general a great resource is Super-Heroes Lives. They have the most definitive list of Super-Hero Fan Films anywhere
on the internet. I know as I spent a couple of hours on the website!